Special Report: Occupation of Mayor’s Father Finally Revealed!

After an exhaustive month-long investigation involving thousands of documents and hundreds of hours of taped interviews, the Dalston Mercury can finally reveal the incendiary truth about the secret occupation of London mayor Sadiq Khan’s father.

Why Mr Khan battled to hide his father’s real profession from the world’s press is still a matter of conjecture, but the astonishing results of The Mercury’s investigation will leave voters stunned and will almost certainly lead to calls for last month’s mayoral election to be declared void and re-run.

The truth – the secret the mayor fought so hard to conceal from the London public – is that Sadiq Khan’s father was, in actuality, a bus driver!

sadiq khan3
Sadiq Khan refusing to be photographed on, or near, a bus yesterday

The revelation has shocked even Mr Khan’s most loyal supporters. Mrs Vera Trotsky of the dalstonforkhan.com website told the Mercury: ‘I just can’t get my head round it. It’s the sense of betrayal that’s the worst thing. Why didn’t he say something about his dad’s job? Why? He did hundreds of interviews, didn’t he? Why didn’t he ever mention it? Not even once? Why did he never, ever, ever mention that his dad was a bus driver?’

‘I just assumed – I think we all did – that his father was a billionaire financier like the other bloke’s. I’m disgusted. Naturally as soon as I found out I burned my Labour Party membership card and renounced socialism.’

Busdrivergate will pile further pressure on a mayoralty already rocked in recent weeks by Glottalstopgate and U-turngate.

In the second part of the Mercury’s special report tomorrow: Conclusive evidence that, despite everything you may have heard, Sadiq Khan was really brought up on a council estate in somewhere called Tooting. Which is somewhere between here and Croydon, apparently.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s