‘Flying Porcine Nazis Threaten Credibility of Labour Party’ Shock

The Dalston Labour leader Aneurin Hobsbawm  has approved the suspension of a prominent donor over an article he wrote in which Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership bid team were likened to Nazi stormtroopers.

Mr Hobsbawm said the donor was suspended on 7 September because he was alleged to have breached a rule governing the leadership election which bans ‘abuse or garottings of any kind by members or supporters. Or blowing each other up. That’s right out of order’.

Breaking news: Jeremy Corbyn is electable

‘If the Labour party is known for anything,’ Mr Hobsbawm told the Mercury from the bunker in which he is currently besieged by his own councillors, ‘it is for never engaging in abuse of any kind and, in particular, never ever mentioning Adolf Hitler or expressing sentiments that could be interpreted as even remotely anti-Semitic. This I swear on Keith Vaz’s trousers.’

Unusually, at this point in our interview Mr Hobsbawm was knocked unconscious by a flying pig which swooped around the room like a Messerchmitt while belting out a spirited rendition of the Internationale dressed as Shami Chakrabarti.

Or maybe we’ve all just dreamt the last 12 months in the history of the Labour party, I dunno.


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