Snapchat Launches Sunglasses With Camera – Fatality Count Latest

Messaging app firm Snapchat has announced its first gadget – sunglasses with a built-in camera that promises to further erode the quality of life for everyone on Earth just a little bit.

The device, which the company in a moment of inspired banality decided to call Spectacles, will be priced at $130 (£100).

The glasses will record up to 10 seconds of video at at time, and early street trials of the device in Dalston have received positive reviews from locals.

‘It’s a very stylish piece of kit,’ said Mr Tyson Calhoun of the Clement Attlee Estate, ‘and extremely robust.’

‘It didn’t matter how many times I smashed the bloke who was wearing them in the face, they hardly broke at all.’

snap-chat-agro
The very last frame of video ever shot by one former Snap Spectacles user. The memorial service is next Tuesday. Family flowers only, please

Fatalities among early adopters of the technology in the Greater Dalston area have been running at ‘slightly above 100%’ according to police, with assaults by members of the public taking issue at being filmed accounting for most of the deaths and all of the savage beatings.

Walking into traffic while filming amusing squirrels has lead to around 23% of crippling injuries sustained, while falling into uncovered manholes has also caused of dozens of fatalities, mainly among members of the public suffering coronaries while laughing at tossers in stupid glasses hurting themselves.

As a result of the release of Spectacles, Snapchat has been officially elevated to the position of the world’s most irritating technology company, ahead of even Google and those bastards at Apple.

 

Advertisements