Freezing People ‘Good For The Economy, Good For Democracy. Just Good All Round, Really’

Campaigners have won the right to have the body of an elderly man cryogenically frozen with the aim of ‘restoring him to life many, many years in the future. Probably. If we get around to it.’

The campaigners – who go by the collective name of ‘the parliamentary Labour party’ – have petitioned to be allowed to freeze their leader, Jeremy Corbyn MP, as a matter of urgency.

‘It is absolutely essential we get Jeremy on ice as soon as possible,’ said one MP who didn’t want to be named, ‘I mean, we’re not absolutely certain that he’s terminally ill per se, but there’s definitely something wrong with him. Something they’re bound to be able to cure in the future. Or not. Whatever…’

MPs have in the past petitioned unsuccessfully to have Mr Corbyn boiled in oil and flayed alive for his own good, but think they have a better chance in having him frozen ‘because ‘Cryogenic’ sounds more scientific than ‘whacked’, doesn’t it?’

cryogenics
Labour MPs use big sticks to ease Mr Corbyn into his new home

Supporters of the campaign say it isn’t even essential that Mr Corbyn is actually frozen solid, ‘just so long as he’s locked in an impregnable glass pod buried hundreds of feet beneath the surface of the earth thousands and thousands of miles away from here’.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s