Nigel Farage: International Diplomat – What Could Possibly Go Worng?

The suggestion by president-elect Donald Trump that Nigel Farage should be appointed UK ambassador to the US has been universally welcomed in Westminster this morning.

‘It’s a bloody ace idea!’ said one senior civil servant today, ‘I can’t think why it never occurred to us.

‘You see, this is the sort of blue-sky thinking that marks-out Mr Trump as the intellectual powerhouse we all know him to be!’

Of Mr Farage’s many splendidly ambassadorial qualities, those that most impress the prime-minister, are said to be ‘his finely honed diplomatic skills, his instinctive self-deprecation and his ability to get on with absolutely everybody, especially foreigners.’

farage
An artist’s impression of the ‘special relationship’ ten minutes after Donald Trump hears Mr Farage’s views on Eastern European immigrants. Like Mrs Trump

So welcome has been Mr Trump’s unexpected intervention in another state’s internal affairs that the president-elect is expected to be invited by Number 10 to advise on a number of matters we would otherwise be incapable of sorting out for ourselves.

However, the prime-minister is unlikely to be able to take advantage of Mr Trump’s extraordinary geo-political vision and experience any time soon, as he will be busy for at least the next month ‘being taught how to find Canada on a map and learning to fasten his own shoes’ in preparation for becoming president.

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