The Palace of Westminster and all the buildings housing the major ministries of state are to be sold off and replaced by a fat moron on Twitter, following recent novel improvements to US democracy.
‘Yeah,’ said a government spokesman this morning, ‘it’s become pretty obvious to everybody that parliamentary debate, the rule of law, collective responsibility of the cabinet, an independent judiciary and all the stuff that has guaranteed the freedom and security of the British people for centuries is terribly old-fashioned and can be replaced by a steaming cretin firing off social media posts from his poorly decorated idiot’s penthouse. Like what happens in America.’
American government has been replaced in recent weeks by president-elect Donald Trump’s Twitter account.
It is generally believed that Donald Trump is sending his own tweets, but it remains a possibility that he has been replaced by a syntactically challenged root vegetable with rudimentary typing skills; it would be hard to tell the difference.
The search is on for someone of Mr Trump’s integrity and intelligence to run Britain via Pinterest, or possibly Grindr.
Sepp Blatter is the current favourite.