Fears have been raised over the mental health of singing legend Tom Jones, 79, after he managed to make it through an entire interview without once mentioning Elvis Presley or the Beatles. Or how he was great mates with both the Beatles and Elvis Presley. Or how Elvis Presley told him the Beatles thought Tom Jones was way better than the Beatles. And Elvis Presley. And the Beatles. Who he was great mates with. Just like he was with Elvis.
Jones, 93, was fired from talent show The Voice before its last series, presumably for not mentioning to anyone that he knew Elvis Presley personally. As he did the Beatles.
The Voice – which is best known for being the only TV talent show never to have unearthed any actual talent (such as the Beatles) – suffered a catastrophic fall in ratings last year.
As a result its producers have decided to move the show from the BBC to ITV, a strategy that absolutely guarantees a ratings triumph in the future, despite always guaranteeing the exact opposite here in the real world.
Jones, a close personal friend of Elvis Presley, Lord Lucan and Shergar, will be joined on the show’s voting panel by three other people who aren’t a patch on the Beatles. Or Elvis, a close personal friend of Tom Jones, 106. Who also knew the Beatles. But not quite as well as he knew Elvis Presley.