Sir Paul Nuttall, PhD – ‘I Invented Penicillin. And Jaffa Cakes’

Yesterday was another bad day for the alt-right after Ukip leader Paul Nuttall confessed to being the ‘young boy’ cited in Milo Yiannopoulos’s apparent online endorsement of paedophilia.

A tearful Mr Nuttall claimed that, as well as being the first man to climb Everest, he had been Mr Yiannopoulos’s lover since the age of fifteen.

Their relationship was interrupted by the Second World War, when Mr Nuttall was busy leading the D-day landings, and by the Apollo missions when the Ukip leader famously preceded Buzz Aldrin onto the surface of the moon.

paul-nuttall1
Paul Nuttall in happier days

But apart from during these two periods (plus the climbing Everest thing) Mr Nuttall was definitely, positively the victim of a traumatic injustice and feels duty bound to make political capital of that fact, despite none of this being true.

Both Nigel Farage and Steve Bannon are said ‘to despair’ of their protégés. Which is saying something.

 

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