Eating Things Makes You Worse Than Hitler – Football Association

The president of Iceland has become embroiled in the furore over the sacking of roly-poly Sutton United goalkeeper Wayne Shaw.

Mr Shaw was forced to resign after being shown eating a pie on live television during his club’s FA Cup tie with Arsenal on Monday.

Icelandic president Mr Guðni Th. Jóhannesson has recently emerged as the world’s foremost authority on the complex etiquette surrounding takeaway food, having correctly ruled that putting pineapple on pizza should be punishable by death, at the very least.

president-of-iceland
Pepperoni-loving Iceland president Gudni Th. Johannesson this morning

Mr Jóhannesson is to be consulted by the enlightened and fun-loving Football Association in the case of the demonstrably evil Mr Shaw whose pie-eating outrage threatened the very fabric of British society.

However, despite self evidently being a scion of Beelzebub, Mr Shaw has received support from former Labour party leader Ed Milliband, who was himself sacked by the British public for eating a bacon sandwich.

 

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