Fans of Barry Manilow were shocked yesterday when the singing legend came out as gay, revealing he has been in a relationship with a man since 1978.
‘Oh my God! Barry Manilow was in the closet?’ shrieked one Dalston fan too shocked to remember his name, ‘Really? I had no idea!
‘Let me get this straight: he was pretending not to be gay all that time? What, with the tight white trousers and the feather boas and everything? This was Barry not being gay? Wow. Four bars of Copacabana told me everything I needed to know, darling.’
According to experts, the only thing more screamingly camp than Barry Manilow is the Wham! video for Club Tropicana.
‘Next you’ll be telling me George Michael spent years in the closet too,’ said a spokesman for Mr Manilow this morning, ‘What? You’re kidding me! No way!’
Ken Livingstone welcomed Mr Manilow’s induction into a minority group today, assuring the singer that Adolf Hitler was absolutely pro-gay and only wanted to help homosexuals leave Germany in the 1930s because the weather is nicer in Israel, or something.