Unions To Perform Mercy Killing Of Labour Party By Drowning It In Cash

The Labour party’s fanatical quest to hurl itself into the black void of electoral oblivion was given a huge boost today by leaders of the Unite union.

‘Yeah,’ said a spokesman for union general secretary Len McCluskey, ‘obviously we’re 100% behind Jeremy Corbyn’s public-spirited attempt to cast his party into the inky dark of perpetual irrelevance and want to help in any way we can.

‘So we took a good hard look at the polls to identify the elements of the Labour party most loathed and mistrusted by the British public. These turn out to be: a) the useless leadership and; b) the Trotskyite nutters of the Momentum group.

‘Naturally, therefore, we have decided to throw our financial weight behind precisely these people in their race toward a bold future of political calamity and principled obscurity.’

lemming
A lemming. NOT a member of the shadow cabinet. Definitely not

Following the union’s anouncement this morning 200 Tory MPs and the editor of The Spectator took out membership of Unite to make absolutely sure Len McCluskey makes good on his funding commitments.

Ukip have offered to bung Momentum a few quid too, if it means they’ll get a move on. Quite a few Labour MPs have chipped in too, just to get the whole miserable business over with.

 

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