‘We Don’t Want Other Countries Laughing At Us Any More’ – Donald Trump. Honestly. Donald Trump Said That

As part of his bold and innovative plan to stop America being the butt of every joke told anywhere in the world Donald Trump has decided to pull out of the Paris climate agreement and bollocks-up the world’s weather. That’ll teach us.

Desperate climatologists have attempted to explain to Mr Trump that no-one was laughing at America until he became president, but they used words containing up to three syllables so he couldn’t understand what they were saying.

Aides tried making pictures out of fuzzy felt explaining climate change to the president but he just whacked them with his G.I Joe and then spilled his juice. The twat.

Comedians and satirists are debating this morning whether it’s worth allowing the planet to fry in order to keep the Trump-related laughs coming; this week’s ‘covfefe‘ episode alone was worth three tsunamis and the desertification of southern Europe, according to sources.

children laughing
The whole world enjoy’s Donald Trump’s Twitter feed. (Although possibly not enough to die for it)

The race is now on to have the president impeached and thrown into jail before we all die of heatstroke. Or laughter.