Local MP Diane Abbott ‘Deserves Medal for Services to Education’

A local man has started a petition to see local MP Diane Abbott recognised for her valuable contribution to the British education system.

Viscount Bramley-Apple of Haggerston told the Dalston Mercury: “I think it’s absolutely marvellous what Diane has done for our schools. I went to Eton myself and can appreciate the value of a good public school education, something that is simply not understood by enough hard-left Marxist/Leninist politicians.”

Diane Abbott yesterday

Ms. Abbott, a Labour MP and very, very close associate of Jeremy Corbyn, wisely sent her own son to a private school, courageously blocking her ears and going “ner ner, I can’t hear you, ner ner,” above the chorus of narrow minded critics who opposed her educational blue-sky thinking.

Apart from her tireless advocacy of equal rights for all, Ms Abbott is best known for her TV appearances alongside gaudily-clad Iberian train fetishist Michael Portillo and that Andrew Neil from off the telly.

If Viscount Bramley-Apple gets his way Ms Abbott will be able to place her award next to the many other trophies earned during her long years of selfless public service. These awards include the Egregious Socialist Hypocrite of the Year title which she has claimed a record six times. Former winners or this coveted gong include Polly Toynbee (inherited wealth, children at private schools) and Seumas Milne (inherited wealth and children at selective grammar schools). Well done Diane!


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