‘Glastonbury The New Nuremberg’ As Shock Troops Of Totalitarianism Get Drunk On Cider While Listening To Katy Perry

The far left takeover of the Glastonbury festival was completed yesterday when a tent full of fun-loving revellers managed to take John McDonnell seriously, even when he claimed the victims of the Grenfell Tower fire had been murdered.

Earlier Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn had addressed a field full of committed socialists, every single one of whom had driven up from London in a 4×4 and paid £250 so they could do that ‘Oh, Je-re-my Co-o-o-o-rbyn’ thing despite the flagrant disregard of copyright law it involves.

Friday night saw rock star Thom Yorke of Radiohead cement his Marxist credentials – not by giving away any of his millions of pounds to poor people, but by being mildly snippy about Theresa May while she was not there to defend herself.

katy perry
Wowing Glastonbury again – Simone de Beauvoir takes to the Pyramid Stage on Saturday night. We think it’s Simone de Beauvoir… someone like that, anyway

Thom is now widely tipped to be the man commissioned to write the new national anthem, once Mr McDonnell’s million-man street mob has rendered general elections unnecessary. The new anthem is expected to be long, slow, mind-bendingly pretentious and nothing like as popular as it was in the 1990s.

Glastonbury Gauleiter Michael Eavis is tipped to join the Labour politburo because his experience in marshalling huge crowds will come in handy when the revolution dawns. Somebody else will be put in charge of the toilets, however, because the ones at Glastonbury are still rank.

 

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